The Original Domestic Goddess - in praise of Roseanne

One of the joys of not having TV is watching TV on DVD, and consequently rediscovering certain programmes. While browsing in remaindered bookshop The Works recently, I picked up season 1 of Roseanne for a ridiculously discounted price (£2.99!)



When I was a child, Channel 4 screened Roseanne in their 6pm teatime slot and, as such, I had fond (if vague) memories of the Conner family. What I didn't remember is just how good Roseanne is.

The action centers on the Conners, a typical blue collar family from the fictional midwest town of Lanford, Illinois. While the Conners are in many ways a typical family, they represented something fairly new on American television. Roseanne doesn't depict a dysfunctional family, but the Conners are far from the Waltons, the Cunninghams or the Huxtables in their utter ordinariness.



The idea for the sitcom came from Roseanne Barr's stand-up persona. It's interesting to note that Roseanne coined the phrase 'Domestic Goddess' to describe her character. Roseanne takes a humorous look at family life, with Roseanne herself as the domestic goddess at the centre.



I love the first season title sequence. It was modified slightly in the next few seasons before changing considerably later in the show's run, but I think there is something wonderful about this title sequence, in which the family are gathered around the kitchen table. As the theme plays, the camera circles round the table, taking in the family talking, squabbling, eating and laughing, finishing on Roseanne herself laughing. It's almost elegant in its simplicity, signalling to the viewer that the comedy has domestic concerns. I suppose I also like it because it directly relates to my own experience - the kitchen is definitely the focal point of both my parents' home and my grandparents' homes.

Roseanne doesn't pull its punches in its representation of family life. The Conners struggle to make ends meet. Dan's work as a contractor is irregular so Roseanne has a succession of jobs to supplement the family's income. When the show opens she is working on an assembly line in Wellman Plastics with her sister Jackie and their friend Crystal, but she quits this job, protesting against bad management and unachievable quotas. In the episode Lobocop in season 2, Roseanne is working two jobs. She has a day shift in fast food restaurant Chicken Divine, and a job at local bar Lobo Lounge. She's only able to see her children for about 20 minutes a day, and she is able to see Dan even less than this. The episode considers the effect that this has on Roseanne's relationship with her children, the effect that it has on her relationship with Dan, and it also looks at how this makes Roseanne feel about herself. There isn't an easy resolution. By the next episode, Roseanne is no longer working at the Lobo but the issue of how to run a household and work on a marriage when both partners work full time is recurring.

Another way in which Roseanne is refreshingly honest is in its depiction of the parent-child relationship. Roseanne loves her children and this is very clear, but they argue and bicker frequently. Roseanne worries that she isn't close enough to her younger daughter Darlene, and she worries that she is turning into her own mother. Dan has an uncomfortable relationship with his own father - he's angry at the way his father was absent for a lot of his childhood, and fears that their similarities mean that he is turning into his father. In the season 3 episode Her Boyfriend's Back, Dan and Becky clash when Becky secretly takes out Dan's vintage motorcycle. Dan is so angry with Becky for disrespecting him that he gives her the silent treatment for days, relenting only when he realises how much he is hurting her. It's hard to watch, and it is very moving when they make amends, and it is a very thought provoking representation of the complexity of family relationships.

A lot of criticism about Roseanne focuses on how the show approached 'issues' such as sex, pregnancy and so on, so I'm not going to repeat that, but what I would like to think about is how Roseanne thinks about women. I've been really pleasantly surprised by Roseanne's thoughtful and intelligent approach to feminism. The women in Roseanne have largely supportive and cooperative relationships. Roseanne works with women at Wellman Plastics, at the Beauty Parlour, and in the Cafe in Rodbell's Department Store and, in all of these situations, the relationships the women share enable them to find some enjoyment in their difficult and menial jobs. Roseanne tells Dan that she finds sweeping floors and washing hair to be demeaning, but that she enjoys working in the Beauty Parlour because the other women make her feel good about herself. Roseanne's relationship with her younger sister Jackie (Laurie Metcalf, who is wonderful) is loving and supportive, despite their different outlooks on life. Roseanne has a very positive attitude towards different modes of femininity. Elder daughter Becky is clever and hardworking, and she is interested in her appearance and attracting boys (in watching Roseanne now, I can imagine how a contemporary Becky would keep a daily outfit blog!) Darlene, her younger sister, is a sporty tomboy. In the episode Dances with Darlene, Darlene is invited to her first formal dance. Roseanne is really excited for Darlene and brings her home a variety of prom dresses to try, none of which are quite right.



Darlene and Roseanne argue about which dress she should wear and how she should wear her hair, and eventually Darlene decides she doesn't want to go to the dance at all. Contrite, Roseanne tells her:

Roseanne: I've got a great idea! I've just thought of this. Hey! You oughta call up Barry and tell him that you will go to the dance, you know, and just wear whatever you want and have your hair however you want.
Darlene: No
Roseanne: Come on Darlene, don't miss out on this just to get back at me. There's better ways of getting back on me. Maybe Becky's boyfriend has a little brother!
Darlene: Mom, I didn't blow the dance because of you. I mean, it was a lot of things. Like, every time I would put on those dresses everybody would start treating me weird. I just didn't feel like the same person any more.
Roseanne: Well, you know, you're kinda not like the same person any more. [She plays with Darlene's hair and piles it on top of her head] Sorry, I guess I shouldn't do that.
Darlene: Aaah, it's okay. Look, I may just never get into proms and stuff. I mean, I like dating and boys and everything, it's just that I don't think that you should have to go through all the crap to get to the good stuff.
Roseanne: You've been hangin out with Aunt Jackie too much.

Roseanne celebrates the different types of femininity, and the different ways in which women can express themselves. Roseanne walks out on her job at Wellman Plastics because she finds the new supervisor's misogynist attitude to be intolerable, and at every step Roseanne celebrates the different choices made by its women. Roseanne's sister Jackie becomes a police officer, and walks out on a relationship with a man who attempts to make her choose between the job and him. Roseanne's choice, to be a wife and mother, is celebrated in the episode Home-Ec. She gives a talk to Darlene's Home Economics class about the responsibilities of running a home and eloquently illustrates how it can be a rewarding, if difficult career.

Where Roseanne is particularly strong is in its performances. Every one of the main cast is fantastic in their role, right down to little Michael Fishman who started playing D.J. Conner at the age of 6! I have a particular soft spot for John Goodman, who is cracking as Dan. He has just the right amount of warmth and humour, and the chemistry between him and Roseanne is a joy to watch. I could write screeds about how good Roseanne is, but don't read it - just go out and get hold of the DVDs. You won't regret it!

There is a horse in my cabaret suite.

It's only 4:15 and it's already dark outside, because it's all clouded over. I'm just hoping it doesn't rain because I have to go out in a while. GRUMBLE! Actually, it'll be lovely because I'm going to a friend's wedding, I was just casting around for some sympathy and attention there.

So, after what was a stressful and pretty miserable week, I was in need of some nice fun things to happen this weekend to cheer me up. I was not disappointed, so far it has been lovely. At work on Friday I had a long talk with my manager about how I have been feeling about work and, although there was only so much that she could do to help, it really made me feel better to have talked about it. I don't think it's going to get any easier, and the next few months are going to be pretty tough going, but talking to someone about how I have been feeling was a really positive step. I felt like my load had been lightened a little bit by the time I left the office on Friday afternoon.

My dear Sugar Plum's brother and sister-in-law had invited us round to their house for a barbeque so, after a cup of tea and a sit down and a cuddle with Nic at home, off we went. It was a really nice evening. Thankfully the weather held and we didn't get rained on, the food was delicious and the company was really good too. I was absolutely knackered by bedtime, but it was the good kind of tired, so that was nice.

I'd like to say that Nic and I were up bright and early on Saturday morning, but we weren't. I needed a lie-in, so we had a lazy morning and a leisurely breakfast before getting out into the sunshine to walk over to Warwick. It was pretty summery, so I put on one of the frocks I bought a few weeks ago from Ebay:

Ruby Belle Amsterdam dress and Bertie shoes

The walk over to Warwick was gorgeous, and when we got there we saw that Warwick Folk Festival was on, so there was lots going on in the town. We stopped and had a picnic in St. Nicholas Park before having a look in the street market that was being held on Smith Street. I had a vague plan in my head of having a look in some of the antiques shops for some Hornsea pottery, so I was very pleased to find a new stand in the antiques market that had lots and lots of vintage homeware. I chatted a bit with the owner, and bought two Heirloom coffee cups and saucers in Autumn Brown:



As I've written before, what I really want is an Heirloom teapot, so I left the lady my name and number should she ever come across one. She was very lovely and helpful, and I'll definitely be back - perhaps post-payday because she had a beautiful teak and glass coffee table from the 70s that would be a nice replacement for our very basic Ikea model! Nic and I had a browse around the charity shops and ended up in Oxfam, only to find:




A Hornsea Heirloom teapot in Midnight Blue, along with six cups and saucers, six dessert plates, a bowl and a sugar canister. I tried haggling with the lady to see if I could buy the teapot just by itself, but she was (understandably) reluctant to break the set up. Instead she gave me £10 off, saying that she was going to put it into the sale next week anyway. So, I felt a bit extravagant but very happy - the teapots are hard to find, and the blue ones even harder, and everything in the set is in perfect condition. Naturally enough the first thing I did when I got home was to make Nic and I a pot of tea with it! The second thing was to clear out some cupboard space, so now I have a boxful of kitchenware to go to a good home.

Our lovely friend Viv had invited us round to have dinner with him before going on to the Somerville for a few drinks. I felt like getting changed (hey, those dresses aren't going to wear themselves) and giving the Lady Dragons an outing, so I wore this:


Fever Knightley dress and Vivienne Westwood Lady Dragon shoes

The little cat lives on our street and he was curious about what was going on. He's none too bright, however, he was the one that got stuck up a tree on our street last Saturday. When we got to Viv's he'd opened up a bottle of wine for us:



I know nothing about wine and haven't really liked red wine in the past. I'm game enough to give it a go, however, especially as this is one that Viv has been keeping in cellarage for some time now. It really surprised me, because I thoroughly enjoyed it. As I've said, I know nothing about wine so I can't give you any tasting notes on this one, just that it was delicious and I was happy to find that I could enjoy it. We enjoyed it so much that Viv opened another bottle of Henschke wine he had, a Shiraz this time, which also went down very well. So, we were pleasantly wine-filled as we took ourselves over to the Somerville to spend the evening with Lysy and the Scientist. We ended up having a really late night, but it was just how I wanted to spend my Saturday evening. It meant another long lie-in this morning, but that's fine.

Nic and I are just back from having coffee in town with Sugar Plum and, in the interests of completeness, here's what I have been wearing today:


Ruby Belle Sailor pinafore and Irregular Choice Mermaid shoes

I don't have anything exciting or interesting to tell you about today because we have been very lazy - but maybe tomorrow I'll put up a picture of what I wore to the wedding. Once I've decided what it is I'm going to wear, that is. In fact, I'd best get off and do that now...

I'm off to the BP garage for a mushroom slice

I'm suffering from the old 'what am I going to write in the first line?' predicament, sorry about that. Maybe I should just plunge straight in. Sorry again for the unsophisticated opening but, well, I'll put some pictures in to make it up to you.

Nic was working on Saturday at a conference, so I had the whole day in which to be girly and silly. I had a lazy morning and then met up with Sugar Plum and Martha in town for a look around the charity shops. I couldn't find anything much in the charity shops, but I did buy some fabric from Decorative Cloth. It is really pretty fabric, and it has possibly the twee-est name ever, 'A Stitch in Time with Mother Goose' by Red Rooster. Anyway, it is very lovely:


I bought the fabric to make a dress up from the pattern I'd ordered from Royal Fabrics, Simplicity 2591


Anyway - I spent a very lovely afternoon chatting and catching up with Sugar Plum and Martha, and when they left I made a start on making my dress. It took me ages to pin the pattern pieces and cut the fabric out, for some reason. However, that was the most difficult part of the process and I managed to get the dress mostly finished on Saturday evening and Sunday. I was greatly helped by reading the reviews on Pattern Review and also by reading Karen's blog Did You Make That? Karen's blog was especially helpful when I was trying to figure out what way the pockets worked, and once I worked that bit out, the pattern was really straightforward. It's the third dress I've made and I am really delighted with how it has turned out:



I hand-stitched the armholes, which was the most laborious bit of the dress, and I put in a lapped zip at the back. I'm definitely going to make this dress again - I'm thinking of making the version with sleeves, in a plainer fabric for the autumn. I won't bore on for too much longer about this but this was the first time I'd made darts and also the first time I'd made pockets so, as well as having a nice wearable dress out of it, I've learned a few more things.

Apart from that, it's all been quiet round here. I've been feeling really stressed again about work - my job is hard, and it at times I find it difficult to cope emotionally with the fact that we're going to be closing down. It has a really physical effect on me, I can't sleep and eating makes me feel sick. I'm very up and down with it, and I'm trying to decide now whether to stick with it or to start to look around for another job. I know how lucky I am to even have a job right now, and to have the time to really think about my decisions but it's still hard going at times.

To make up for the doom and gloom of that last paragraph, here are a few more pictures of my dresses. Seeing as I didn't do any outfit shots last week, here are a few from the weekend:


Mariko Dita dress and Vivienne Westwood Lady Dragon shoes
I didn't actually wear this on Saturday but I was trying it on so Martha could see, and she took a photo (in case you're wondering, I wore this on Saturday.) I bought this dress about a week ago but haven't found the occasion to wear it yet - I think it might be a wee bit too wiggly for work! Still, I'm glad I bought it because I love the pencil skirt and the boxy neckline. It's hard not to feel fabulous in this dress.


Numph Summer dress and Bertie Orkney shoes
This is what I wore on Sunday. I can't think of much to say about this dress, except that I love the colour. Also, it's really practical for sewing in because it's a pullover one, so nice and handy for trying things on!

This week is set to be a very busy one again at work, but despite the things I was saying earlier I am trying to stay positive. I've got lots of nice things to look forward to over the coming weeks. Starting with tonight - Nic is taking me and my new dress out for a date, and then it's dinner and a movie. So really, life is pretty good.

Wholemeal pittas? What do you think this is, the Labour party conference?

I have a confession to make.

I don't like cupcakes.

I love cake in general, and I enjoy buns as well, but I just can't get on with cupcakes. It's the frosting! It's too much - I don't like buttercream, and then when you get down to the bottom it's just a bun. I don't know if this is going to make me an internet pariah or what, but it's the truth. I don't like muffins either, but that's a seperate issue.

Anyway, I feel a lot better for having got that off my chest! No, I'm joking about that, but I genuinely don't like cupcakes. I'm feeling a bit restless this afternoon. It might be because I have been working from home today and I didn't make it outdoors until after five o clock. Now there's torrential rain and I don't feel like going out, but maybe if it dries up a bit I'll go out for a walk later on. Although, given the downpour that's not looking terribly likely!

I've had a good, but busy week. Work has been busy again, and it looks like I'm going to be flat out again for the next few weeks. It's nice to have something to be working on and to be kept busy, especially as other parts of the organisation are winding down, but it is still a difficult place to be working right now. Still, this week has been good because I've had the pleasure of working with marking experts, all of whom are brilliant. It's been a satisfying work week, all things considered.

I also got some very exciting news from home the other night - my baby sister is engaged! She is on holiday with her boyfriend (em, fiance I suppose) and my other sister and her boyfriend, and they got engaged. I'm so delighted for her - she and her boy have been together for a long time, and they make eachother very happy. I'll be proud to have him as a brother-in-law. I can't get home to celebrate with them until September, but I certainly will celebrate when I get there!

In some ways my two younger sisters are so much more grown-up than I am. Both of them run their own businesses, and now Baby Sister is engaged - it's easy for me to forget that I am the eldest! I had a long talk with my mum about it the other evening. I'm lucky in that she's not at all stereotypical - she's not pushing any of us to get married and have babies in a hurry and it means she's really easy to talk to. I'm not in a hurry either - when I heard Baby Sister's news it didn't make me feel wistful that it wasn't me (although, you know, I wouldn't mind a big old diamond solitaire like the one she got!) It isn't that I don't want to get married eventually, it's just that I don't feel that pull towards it. It's the same with babies, I suppose. Last Friday evening I spent some time with Sugar Plum and her sister in law, and Sugar Plum's baby niece. The baby is about four months old, and she is gorgeous. She's just about the prettiest thing you can imagine, and she's very placid and happy. I spent ages playing with her, and listening to her burbling away, and trying to make her laugh and I had a wonderful time, but again I didn't feel the urge to have one of my own. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will - I just can't imagine myself as a mother. I might never feel that need. I'm okay with that, and I don't feel like there is anything wrong with me for not feeling strongly about it either. A scene in the second Sex and The City movie made me think - it's when Carrie and Big are at Stanford and Anthony's wedding and a fellow guest is horrified that Carrie and Big don't plan to have children. She asks them will they be okay being 'just them' for the rest of their lives. I think it was a really well-written and thoughtful scene and not just because it struck a chord with me. Right now I feel like I would be happy if it were just me and Nic for the rest of our lives - that might change, but it might not. In any case, I'm pretty happy as I am.

Back to my usual frivolity now, I think. I haven't had much time to take photos of what I have been wearing this week and also, I haven't been feeling especially photogenic. I'll get back on that next week. I have taken a photo of the new shoes I bought this afternoon - it had been a long day indoors, so of course as soon as I escaped from work I was lured into the House of Fraser sale and I bought these:

Shoes number 29: Bertie Orkney mary-janes
You can see a better photo of them here and apparently they're also available in coral. The photo doesn't make them look that exciting and I'll admit that they didn't exactly make my heart race, but once I tried them on I loved them. Also, my Sardinia shoes from Bertie have been getting a lot of wear, so I thought something in a similar colour would be practical. They'll go with everything, and they're shiny! While I was in House of Fraser I was very excited to see that the Sardinia style has been made into a wedge shoe, so next month I'm going to replace my loved and lamented black patent wedges with these:

The photo doesn't really do justice to how pretty they are, but they're out of the question for me this month. I wouldn't normally bother with looking at black patent shoes in the summer, but then, you know, have you seen the weather?








It's going to be a nice quiet weekend here in Clackett Mansions as Nic is working tomorrow. I'm going to go and see if the dress pattern I ordered from our local haberdashery shop has arrived and, if it has, I might have a bash at at. The lovely Karen from Did You Make That? has made a gorgeous dress from the same pattern, so I'm keen to have a go myself. I haven't chosen fabric yet, but I have a feeling I'll find something in Decorative Cloth that'll take my fancy.

Now, if it's all the same to you lovely people, I'm away to have a cup of tea. I hope you all have a delightful Friday night!

I'm agoraphobic. I fell off a diving board in Guernsey!

It is really rainy and miserable here today. Despite having an umbrella I got absolutely soaked when I was running to the station to catch my train home, and then of course I got frozen because the air conditioning was set to ICY BLAST setting. Naturally enough! Grumble grumble, eh? Actually, I've had a very good couple of days at work and I think the rest of the week is going to be busy, but interesting, so that's all good. Also, I've bought two bargain dresses on eBay - I'm wearing one now and one is on its way, and that always makes me smile.

I still have a roll of film in my camera to finish off (just a few photos) with photos from Paris on it, but Nic and I got the other roll developed at the weekend. One of the nice things about having a film camera is forgetting excatly what you've taken photos of. I won't bore you with all of my photos, but looking at these cheered up my drizzly afternoon:


These macarons were the first thing I took a photo of in Paris. This was in the window of a bakery further up Rue Lepic. We had a bakery across the street and one on the corner, but this one was my favourite. Partly because of the macarons (including one with nutella in) but mainly because the staff were so friendly and nice. Also, obviously the bread was delicious!


This is me on the Pont Neuf. I know I look like such a tourist, but I don't care - look how happy I look! This day was brilliant. Nic and I went over to the Latin Quarter and roamed all around it. We had ice-cream twice, and champagne at a pavement cafe, and peppermint tea at L'Institut du Monde Arabee, and generally just sunned ourselves. It was one of the happiest days I've ever spent.


This amazing graffiti was in an alleyway off the Rue Mouffetard. There were also spraypainted Geishas.


I think DARTY is a bit like Sky, or some kind of cable TV company. The first time we went to Paris I was hugely amused by the name, because I'm really immature like that. I still find it funny. even though no-one else does. You can get a product called a Darty Box - and I don't care what anyone else says, that shit makes me laugh!

I might put more up when I get the rest developed, it depends on how they came out and what I actually took photos of - there won't be anything as funny as DARTY though, I warn you now.

I have got a more deep and meaningful (ahem) blog post in the planning stages, but right now it's time for me to eat pizza.

Do heavy metallers eat chips?

The other day I wrote a blog in which I listed some things that are WRONG. Some of you might have read it in your Google readers or whatever but I had to delete it. I had been writing it on a shitty browser (booo) that caused me to lose half of it prior to publishing - and I'm such an idiot I didn't even notice til I published it, and by then I'd forgotten most of the funny things I'd said. Since then I've been meaning to rewrite it, but I haven't had the time til now. Apologies to those of you who have already read this, but here we are.

These are the things that are so wrong, I can't even think of them as wrong. In my mind, they're RONG. They don't even deserve a W. You might disagree with some of these, but that's fine with me. It's my blog, so ner.

Spitting in the street
Why do people do this? I just don't understand it. It isn't just that it's disgusting....okay, well it's mostly that it's disgusting. I suppose in comparison to other anti-social behaviour this is fairly harmless, but it's so disrespectful. What happened to us, that our young people are growing up to think it's okay to gob in the street? I have to stop talking about this now, because just the thought of this is making me want to boke.
.
Conducting private conversations loudly, and in public

I took this photo in an antiques market in Stratford - I loved the polite request, not to avoid swearing completely, but just to keep it to a minimum. I suppose necessary swearing is fine.
There are very many things that I love about living in the middle of town. My favourite shops are around the corner, my best friends all live close by and I can walk home from my favourite pub. What I do not like about living in the centre of town is having to listen to other people's loud and often personal conversations all the bloody time. Although Nic and I live on the top floor of our building, we frequently have to listen to hallions having arguments in the street. At all times of the day and night. There's one woman close by who makes a habit of screaming at her partner/children/passers by about whatever it is that happens to be bothering her at the time. Take it indoors, woman! I don't need to hear that! Or better yet, phone Jeremy Kyle and take it there.

Shirtless men in public places
And, by public places I don't mean the beach or the swimming baths. I mean the street, the park, shops, public transport. Men, your wives don't want to see that, I don't want to see that. PUT IT AWAY. Also, yuck.

Listening to music on the speakers of your mobile phone
Buy some bloody headphones. Your music is shit.

Talking in the quiet carriage of the train
Seriously. I don't even mean the people who take calls on their mobiles when they're in here. They're inconsiderate dicks for doing it but they usually realise that they're in the wrong. I mean the people who just talk away as normal in there. It isn't any less annoying, just because you're not having your inane conversation into an electronic device. There is a sticker on the window showing someone talking and it has a line through it. Quit it.

Using the phrase 'mass exodus' to describe a lot of people leaving a place at one time
That's a tautology. The word exodus describes a lot of people leaving a place at one time. 'Mass' is redundant at this point. I can't explain why this one pisses me off so much, but there you go.

Using the phrase 'third wheel' to describe an unwanted extra person
I should say, misusing the phrase 'fifth wheel', because that's the phrase. I'll concede that this one is just me because I suppose 'third wheel' has become acceptable , but if you use it in my presence I'll correct you.

Chewing gum
If for some reason I was in charge, I would ban chewing gum. I really would, and it wouldn't even bother me that lots of other people wouldn't like it (I suppose the list above gives you a bit of a clue about what a petty tyrant I would be if I were actually in charge of anything) Chewing gum is disgusting. Okay, so it might have some benefits for your teeth but it's horrible. I hate it when you're talking to someone and you can see a big chaw of gum in the back of their mouth, or when you can see it in someone's mouth in a photo of them. YUCK. And don't even get me started on those dirty tramps that stick it on chairs or tables or the seats on buses, what kind of a filthy bogger do you have to be to do that? Or the people that spit it onto the pavement. There are loads of these people, judging by the amount of the foul stuff that you see everywhere you go. Our manners aren't developed enough to be able to handle chewing gum, so I say ban it. Dirty tramps.

That's all I've got for now....no doubt there will be more in future, though.

There hasn't been too much going on here in Clackett Mansions. Nic started up a blog, which you can read here. We spent Friday evening hanging out with friends and eating Chinese food. I wore a dress that I borrowed from Martha, and which she will be lucky to get back:

Therapy dress and Bertie Sardinia shoes
It's cute, isn't it? She looks cuter in it, however, so I'm not actually going to steal it from her. The thought did cross my mind, I'm not going to lie to you. The rest of the weekend was very domesticated and uneventful - Nic and I went to Stratford on Saturday and spent Sunday cleaning. All very exciting, I'm sure you'll agree! Almost as exciting as my dinner, which is nearly ready, so that's your lot. Feel free to hit me with any suggestions to add to the LIST OF RONG.

I've got more on my plate than a spinster at a wedding. That wasn't a reference to your daughter by the way, Andrew.

You might remember that a while back, I wrote a blog post about my 10 Favourite Fictional Women. I've been thinking about whether to write a similar list about my favourite fictional men. Initially I thought I wouldn't because, well, there are many more fictional men than women. However, someone pointed out that it just meant I had to be more discerning. So, here you go. In no particular order, my 10 Favourite Fictional Men.

1. Andy Sipowicz

"Ipsa this, you pissy little bitch!"

It'll be no surprise to any regular readers of my blog that Detective Andy Sipowicz of NYPD Blue has made my list. I love him. The line I quoted above are the first words he says to the woman who becomes his wife, ADA Sylvia Costas. However, rudeness and anger are only a few of his characteristics. Andy's deep discomfort with any kind of change makes him a really compelling character to watch, as does his devotion to his job. He can be awful but also incredibly compassionate and kind. In short, he's awesome and I love him.


2. Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart

Again, it's bound to be no surprise that the Brig makes my list. I've only been watching Doctor Who for the past few years and, while I love almost every incarnation of the Doctor (with the notable exception of David Tennant, who can bite me) and I adore many of the companions as well, it's the Brigadier who really gets me. He's a good man, a military man who frequently knocks heads with the Doctor. He makes some mistakes (see: Doctor Who and The Silurians) but he is trying to do good. His no-nonsense approach and exasperation with the Doctor makes him extremely entertaining to watch, but his most endearing characteristic is his unfailing sense of duty.


3. Geoff Tipps
"I won that. At least I won the Mums."

Every time I go put my ticket through one of the barriers in the underground, I think of Geoff Tipps trying to put his fiver in and it makes me laugh. Sometimes I send my friend James text messages with Geoff Tipps quotes, because both James and Geoff are awesome (but in very, very different ways.) Geoff is one of the most sympathetic characters in The League of Gentlemen, although he's really awful in lots of ways. He's bitter and he holds grudges in the worst way, and he's a terrible stand-up comedian. He was probably even worse in the TAs, if his attempt at building a raft is anything to go by. Still, my heart goes out to him every time I watch The League of Gentlemen.


4. Detective Sergeant Robbie Lewis

I'm not surprising anyone this evening, am I? And I'm going to try to avoid repeating myself too much. I like Lewis, both in Inspector Morse and in Lewis for his quiet determination to get the job done. He has good instincts and works hard - in short, he's one of the good guys. I think I've probably raised this before on here as well, but Nic made up a brilliant alternative theme for Lewis (to be sung by Kevin Whately himself) and the lyrics are: Lewis! Solving crimes/ Lewis! Just like old times/ Lewis! Back on the beat/ 'Cos everything's gonna be reet I think that's reason enough for Lewis to be included on this list.


5. Matthew Cuthbert
He somehow, quietly, manages to persuade Marilla to let Anne stay at Green Gables. He knows to go for the doctor at Carmody when the youngest of the Barry children comes down with croup. He gets Anne that beautiful brown gloria dress with puffed sleeves after noticing that she's not dressed like the other girls, and he owns the scene which makes me cry every single time I read Anne of Green Gables. That's why I love Matthew Cuthbert. Richard Farnsworth was a great choice to play him in the Kevin Sullivan miniseries as well.


6. Charles Pooter

The Diary of a Nobody is one of the few books that makes me really laugh out loud. Pooter, with all of his middle class aspirations and his enjoyment of his own jokes, is a deeply lovable character. His love for his wife, concern for his son and his ability to take pleasure in the small things in life (such as wearing a new straw hat on his holidays) mean that the reader is on his side from the start. The small disasters that befall him are hilarious (I often giggle to myself at the thought of him painting the inside of the bath with red enamel paint) but his small triumphs are genuinely heartwarming. If you haven't read it, you must go out and get a copy as soon as you can.

7. Iorek Byrnison
I don't have a picture of Iorek Byrnison because I don't want to put up a picture of a CGI bear. It couldn't do the image of Iorek Byrnison that I have in my head any justice. For those of you who haven't read Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials novels, Iorek Byrnison is the king of the panserbjørne, the armoured polar bears. When we first encounter him, his armour has been stolen and he is shaping metal for humans in rusty old armour he's had to make for himself. He is the bravest and most noble of Pullman's characters (well, I suppose Lee Scoresby comes close too) and was one of the characters that was most alive to me in the novels.

8. Ken Dixon
Ken is hardworking and under constant pressure from both the brewery and his mother. I love him for his exasperation with his regulars, the way in which he tolerates Phil and Nige to 'grease the wheels of industry' and for the fierce love he has for his daughter Melanie. I suppose I'm a bit of a softie because in some ways he reminds me of my daddy (at least, in so far as he lets me wrap him around my little finger as well) but mainly I think he's a superb character, brilliantly acted by John Henshaw.


9. Malcolm Tucker
I know my mum reads my blog, so I don't want to directly quote my favourite Malcolm Tucker line but, he's made it to the list by virtue of Tucker's Law. It helps, I suppose, that I have a crush on Peter Capaldi, but I love Malcolm. Especially in the third series of The Thick of It, when things stop going his way. He's truly frightening, but weirdly empathetic as well. I love him, and I'm still childish enough to thoroughly enjoy all of the swearing. He hasn't made the list, but I'd also like to give a little bit of room to Glenn Cullen for having my second favourite bit of The Thick of It swearing - This is a bucket of shit. If someone throws shit at us, we throw shit back at them. We start a shit fight. We throw so much shit back at them so they can't pick up shit, they can't throw shit, they can't DO shit. Hugh Abbott's right. That is some top swearing.


10. Anthony Aloysius St.John Hancock
"I'm not poshed up! This is my ordinary, everyday, run-of-the mill breakfast clobber, as worn by gentlemen all over the world." He's another grumpy man, frustrated by his inadequacy and those of the people around him. I can't write anything about Hancock that hasn't already been said, so I won't try - but we've got Hancock's Half Hour to thank for so many wonderful sitcoms, I couldn't miss him off the list.



And that's your lot! Others that were shortlisted included: Terry Collier, Father Ted Crilly, Chief Superintendent Strange and Chief Inspector Morse and Soupy Norman.

This, right here, this is the reason why you have a reputation as a pain in the ass.

It's Tuesday, so I did Ruby Shoesdays properly this week! Unfortunately, I had to wait until I got home from work to have my photo taken so I'm looking a wee bit work-tired in the photo:


Fever Pansy dress and Tammy red patent shoes

I'm cheating a wee bit and doubling this up for my Shoeperwoman's Shoe Challenge. These wee shoes could do with being retired as they're getting pretty old now, I just need to find a suitable replacement first!

Nothing much new from me today, I'm afraid. My back is still giving out, and I had a very busy day at work so I don't even have any gossip. It's pretty sad, really. So I'm going to leave you here and write more when I can get my brain to work.

Oh - but it might tickle (or disgust, depending on who you are) you to know that as I sit on the sofa writing this, I'm wearing my new plastic shoes. They're amazing.

I meant, you're in charge of this, in the sense that you're subordinate to me in every way.

I'm pretty tired this evening. I'm just not a wee young slip of a thing any more, and taking trains tires me out! I'm not saying this in a complaining tone, it's more that I'm wondering just how I got to be so lame.

I had a very lovely weekend, all the same. As the weather has been so beautiful, Nic and I decided to take a long weekend and head down to Kent to see his parents. The additional bonus of doing this is that, as they live by the seaside, we can have a dip in the sea. I worked from home on Friday so that we could get away early, which was really helpful. It also meant that I was at home to receive delivery of a new pair of shoes:




Shoes number 28: Vivienne Westwood Anglomania for Melissa Lady Dragon shoes
Wow. The name of those shoes is a mouthful, isn't it?! I've admired these shoes for quite some time, and tried on a pair in Selfridges at Christmas. They were £110 and also, the size 5 was miles too big for me so I quite happily relegated them to the file in my mind marked "Shoes I like but can't afford but that's okay because I wouldn't be able to wear them anyway." I revisited my love of them when a lady was selling them at the empty attic sale on Rue Lepic when we were in Paris last month, but again they were too expensive (well, affordable but too much for a pair of pretty scuffed-up second hand shoes, Westwood or not) and also, size 5. Sorry, I guess this story is actually pretty boring, so I'll get to the point. Amber bought a gold pair when she was on holiday, and I felt very covetous of them...and then Fi got sent a pair to review, alerting me to the fact that they were on sale. So I snapped them up, this time in a size 4, and they fit! They're ridiculous plastic shoes with a big old heart on the toe, so I can't say that I'm going to get miles of wear out of them, but sometimes you just need to buy something ridiculous and frivolous.

I didn't actually wear these shoes with that dress on Friday - that was just for the photo. It was too hot, and I was going to be walking around London so plastic shoes weren't really the thing. Nic and I got on the train, and spent a few hours in London before going to Kent. You'll be in no way surprised to learn that I bought a dress in the Fever shop and Nic bought some comics, so we very nicely played to our own stereotypes. There wasn't anything exciting on the sample rail in the Fever shop, and the one sale item I liked is probably more trouble than it would be worth but I am very pleased with the dress I did buy (but I bought it in blue)

After a week of feeling headachy and blue, getting to the seaside was a real tonic. I love the first glimpse of the sea that we get when the car drives down the hill into Sandgate and you can see the sea glinting behind the buildings on the seafront. After catching up with Nic's mum and dad, we headed down to watch the sun setting on the English channel:







Half an hour of sea air had the effect of a tranquliser dart on me. Nic and I got back to the house and settled down to watch an episode of The Rockford Files and I fell straight asleep. I could barely open my eyes enough to get ready for bed, but then I am pretty lame around bedtime at the best of times.

Nic and I started Saturday morning with a dip in the sea. I had bought a swimming costume and a pair of jelly shoes (the beach is pebbly so not the most comfortable for walking on) and was ready to have a good old splash around. I should say there that I can't swim and neither can Nic, and also that this is the first swimming costume I've owned since I was about 12. So, I didn't swim in my new swimming costume, but Nic and I did have a highly enjoyable splash around. The water was cold, but the sun was shining and there was a warm breeze. It was beautiful. After getting dressed, Nic and I went to visit his grandparents. We followed this up by spending the afternoon in Folkestone, having coffee in Home Ground and chatting with the delighful Paul Rennie. Folkestone is a funny town - it's a bit like Coventry in that there is a disconcerting mix of beautiful architecture and concrete, but I am very fond of it all the same.

On Sunday we had a day out to Charing to visit our friend Dan and his girlfriend Vic. Charing is a really beautiful little village that sits between the North Downs and the Weald, and it's also the former home of Tom Baker. The house that Vic and Dan in was formerly owned by Vic Reeves, and he still lives in the village (in fact, we saw him driving past in his car. How starry was my weekend?!)


Dan and Vic had made us a lovely lunch, and we sat out in the garden to enjoy it with a glass of Pimm's and lemonade. YUM! I hadn't seen Dan for a while so it was excellent to catch up. I've only met Vic a few times, but we got on incredibly well as it turns out we have a lot in common. After lunch, we went for a walk through the Charing nature reserve and up onto the Down. You can see a few more photos on my Flickr if you'd like but here are a few in the meantime:




We took a bottle of cava and some beers back to the blanket in the garden, and met some of Dan and Vic's housemates:


It was an amazing day, and we had so much fun that we ended up getting back to Sandgate pretty late. It was another tranquiliser dart evening, so we went to bed pretty early. Today Nic and I travelled back up to Leamington, stopping off again in London. We went along to the Portobello Road again, which was lovely. I didn't buy anything exciting but Nic did buy me a copy of Mrs Harris goes to Paris by Paul Gallico. I was too tired to read it on the train back up to Leamington, sadly. In fact, the train was so warm and comfortable that I fell asleep. That's the main thing about this weekend, I have been feeling sleepy for a lot of it!

The other thing about this weekend is that I have had a weird pain for most of it. It started out as a sore RSI-type shoulder on Friday and now it's full on pain in my back and side which is making it difficult to lift my right arm. I think it might be that sleeping on a sofa bed all weekend has pulled something but it sucks! Also, it bloody hurts and it kept twinging (I know that's not really a word, probably) the whole time we were walking around in London. I hope it's better tomorrow after sleeping in my own bed, I don't love feeling like an old lady.

With that, I'm off to lie down. My back hurts. Ouch!