Do you think I'm... SPOOKY?

Evening all, my pretties! I hope none of you got blown away during today's epic winds. Needless to say, I did not. I was safely bored in our office, watching the horizontal rain whipping across Coventry while I worked on YET ANOTHER SPREADSHEET. Still, at least they have finally sorted out the damn heating so, while my brain is melting my body is fine. Yup, it's going to be one of those weeks.

Helpfully, though, I had an awesome weekend and that should get me through at least the first half of this week. I worked from home on Friday on a spreadsheet (w00t) but I was just glad to be working from home because Thursday at the office stressed the shit out of me. I came home in an absolutely foul mood, and ended up bursting into tears in a ball on my bed. It sucked, and all I wanted to do was pull the blanket over my head and tell the world to piss off. I didn't do that, instead I washed my face and headed out to see my friend L. The walk in the lovely Spring evening picked me up a bit, but what definitely did it was a) the excellent company, b) the wine and c) the two gorgeous pairs of shoes L gave me. Chats + wine + shoes = win, right? I ambled home, picking Nic up from the pub on the way and so I was gently hungover and much happier on Friday morning. You'll see the shoes when I wear them, by the way. They're very pretty.

On Friday night were were joined by Lauren and Rick for the least classy dinner party ever - chips from Lansdowne chippy, lots of wine and cheese and pudding. It was so much fun, I honestly can't remember when I last laughed quite so hard. We were up late and, as a result, had the longest lie in ever on Saturday. I mean, Nic didn't see the a.m at all. It was just that sort of day, and I'm really grateful to be able to just drop out for a day. We did surface briefly to take in some of the sunshine before the world ended, and I wore another one of my Vivien of Holloway sale purchases:

Vivien of Holloway purple rose dress, Max C belt, Irregular Choice Cortesan shoes and that little Cath Kidston purse was a gift from the girls at Aspire Style

Yeah. It was windy! Thankfully the layers of petticoats meant that the townspeople of Leamington didn't actually have to see my knickers, which I'm sure was a relief for them.

I want more of these dresses. MOAR DRESSES.

This dress was a second, so it was quite cheap and I initally bought it thinking that I could sell it on ebay - it was a second because of a little stain on the bodice, which came out immediately I applied the stain remover. It's not going on ebay, though. This one's a keeper, isn't it?

Irregular Choice Cortesan shoes

I'm declaring this one for Shoeperwoman's Shoe Challenge. The first time I wore these shoes, they ate my feet. They did not the second time round. It might be because their appetites were satisfied, it might be because I remembered to use the anti friction blister stick stuff before I put them on. Either way, I think I have forgiven them.

To balance out the supreme laziness of Saturday, I was up bright and early on Sunday to go to CJ's Boot fair with Zoe and Lysy. It was grey and cold and a bit grim, so I wasn't much in the mood for rummaging but I would go back. I much preferred our next stop, the Discover Vintage fair in the Pump Rooms. Zoe and I spent the best part of two hours prowling around the many stalls, and we both came away happy. I'm sure she'll blog about her purchases, and I was quite restrained, limiting myself to a really adorable navy 50s frame handbag. There was a really nice vibe at the fair, and some of the stalls were really excellent. Fellow Sew Make Believe member Amy had an excellent stand and I'm really looking forward to her vintage fair in a July (visit her blog for details.) We finished off by a rummage in the charity shops, before Zoe headed home. I went home, had some lunch and got down to some housework and some serious sofa time. The very relaxing weekend set me up for what is going to be a very busy and stressful work week. I will try to check in with you all during the week, but for now I'm off to eat some veggie chilli nachos and watch a DVD with Nic.

Just so you know, Y-O-U-R-E means "you are" Y-O-U-R means "your"

A happy Wednesday afternoon to you all! Posting midweek seems a bit strange for me, breaking out of my usual Sunday evening routine and I'm a creature of habit and all that. It'll be a short one though as I'm off out shortly for a Sew Make Believe workshop. I'm hosting it this evening and I'm feeling pleasantly smug about having all of my materials and even resources in order! You can't take the teacher out of me, I guess.

Anyway, I do have an outfit shot for you all this evening but the photos are a bit... boke. Nic took these when I got home from work, and I have the look of someone who has just come home from work. But you know, the dress is pretty and it's all good and I don't look bad as such - it's just, this is not my most fabulous self (heh)

Yup, it was one of those days at work! Fever Matoid pencil dress, Vivienne Westwood for Melissa Lady Dragon shoes and my ever-faithful Joules bag

To be fair, it was one of those days. I managed to get everything on my to-do list done but I am finding work such a chore at the moment. I'm working on interesting projects, but doing really boring things and when my job changes in September it's going to get worse. It wouldn't be so bad if there was any opportunity for advancement but at the moment there isn't. So I'm sucking it up, and looking for another job. I know I'm in a really good position and I am grateful for my luck in having a job that pays the bills, but I'll rot there if I stay. I'd sooner go back to commuting and do a job that I don't hate, and I am starting to hate this one. I know moaning about work is super-boring but I am feeling awfully jaded at the moment.

But, you know, it could all be a lot worse. I have some lovely plans in place for the weekend involving wine and chips and dresses and friends so I'm glad it's finally Wednesday. Roll on the weekend! Okay, now I'm off to get stuff done before going out. You'll get a less work-rumpled Dolly next time, I swear.

People aren't going to want to buy batteries from Pa if they think Ma is back there in the freezer hanging from a meat hook!

Hello strangers! It feels like it's been an age since I last blogged even though it's only been about a week, but to be honest I've just not been feeling it. I've been so up and down this past week or so there was a good chance that if I sat down to blog it'd come out a bit of an incoherent mess, so I didn't. Also I've been totally bored with my wardrobe (which I know is really stupid given that I have approximately twelfty three and a half million choices) so not feeling outfit shots BLAH BLAH BLAH. But I swear this isn't going to all be really moany and stuff because I think I've got that out of my system.

And actually, although some things this week have sucked there have been lots of cool things going on too so I think I'll share those with you. Well maybe I'll get one quick moan out of the way which is that last week I damn near melted in our stupid office. It's a brand new schmancy building with some sort of fancy heat regulation system but it doesn't work, and for the past 8 months they've been digging the front of the building up to try to fix it. Monday and Tuesday last week were totally ridiculous, and by Wednesday the heat on our floor had reached 23 degrees. And you can't open the window unless building management does it, because it has to be done electronically, and they refused to open the windows because they said they had the air conditioning on and that would work soon. Balls. Well, it took until Friday to work and although I wasn't in the office I spoke to a colleague who was who said it was so cold that her hands had turned BLUE. So, that was pretty rubbish. Work is also quite stressful at the moment, and I found myself having a panic attack in a meeting on Wednesday afternoon due to a combination of heat, tiredness and just general freaking out at how crap my job is actually going to be over the next few months. Still, I am very lucky to have a secure job and once I got outside and had some fresh air and phoned my dad I was feeling much calmer, but still. The first half of last week bit, basically. Oh also my new shoes chewed up my feet. They're all better now, and the shoes are so pretty that I have forgiven them, but it bloody hurt at the time:

Taken on Tuesday after work, which is why I look like an ice cream that's been dropped on a sunny pavement. Fever Dita dress and Irregular Choice Cortesan heels, they love to eat your feet. But at least your feet get to look nice in the process.

Despite the insane heat, sore feet and general bokeyness of Tuesday I did feel pretty awesome in this dress all day. You just can't beat that colour to make you feel all sparky.

My week took a turn for the better when I left work on Wednesday. I had a post-work coffee date with my Sugar Plum, which was awesome and much needed. I love spending time in big groups but it's hard to beat one on one time with your friends, and I could feel my blood pressure drop and my heart rate slow back down to normal from just hanging out in the pub with a good friend. Nic joined us after a while and treated me to a totally medicinal glass of sancerre and then an even more medicinal bag of chips. I am such a classy girl, no?! This was the start of my downward spiral into pub addiction. Thursday night I was back in the pub (a different pub) for a few glasses of vino and a catch up with Lucy, followed by a dance with Nic. Friday was the day of two pub visits as we had a lunchtime pie date at the Somerville. It's Leamington's best pub anyway, and now they sell Pie Minister pies. What's not to love?! We were back there that evening to celebrate N's birthday, for more wine and maybe a spot of impromptu flamenco dancing by Caroline and Sugar Plum. It was very late by the time I got to bed so I was feeling a wee bit tired and emotional on Saturday, cheered up immensely by a spontaneous trip to Bicester village with Sugar Plum and a bit of charity shop shopping. I was very good at Bicester and didn't buy anything apart from a sandwich, but it was good fun - I'll be back when I have some funds. However, I have enjoyed good charity shop success this week, scoring two Fever dresses for £10 each! I'll show you more of those at a later date but it was very satisfying. They were in two different charity shops as well - I wonder if there is someone going around Leamington, donating dresses in all the charity shops. That's a nice dream!

So, that's my exciting news, and I do use the word 'exciting' loosely. I'll be more craic this week though, I swear. I can feel it in my bones that it's going to be a better week. And I'm going to start buying ice lollies on my way to work, just in case.

Walk where you want to walk

Afternoon all! I'm nursing a thundery pressure headache this afternoon, possibly due to this Spanish Plume thing the Met Office are on about. Actually, generally my head is feeling rather uncomfortably full at the moment, hence the relative scarcity of my posts at the moment. I was feeling seriously grotty and grumpy this morning and last night so I did what I do when I'm annoyed - I vacuumed. It always seemed to work for my mum when I was a teenager and she was cross with me, and it did the job for me this morning. Then Nic and I took a walk, went to the library, had lunch and watched an episode of The Dalek Invasion of Earth (awesome) so my mood is starting to right itself a little now. I was feeling in the mood for something elegant when I got dressed this morning so went for this:

Laura Ashley Falling Rose dress, Bertie Sardinia shoes and Ollie and Nic bag

I don't wear this dress as often as I ought to - probably because when I bought it, it was a wee bit snug on me so I sort of think of it as an uncomfortable dress. It fits perfectly now, though, so I should give it more of a chance. I love the Rennie Mackintosh-esque roses and the shape of the skirt.

Rennie Mackintosh roses

I'm getting in a Shoeperwoman's Shoe Challenge here too, I thought I'd save my beloved Bertie Sardinia shoes, the black ones at any rate. On paper these sound like totally boring shoes and I'll admit, they don't cause people to stop me in the street the way my various pairs of Irregular Choice shoes do, but these are elegant and gorgeous, and I love them.

Bertie Sardinia court shoes

As I said earlier, I feel at the moment like my head is absolutely full and I haven't been my usual sunny (heh) self over the past few days. Slowing down and not letting things get on top of me is something I still have to work on and for the past week it's felt like harder work for some reason. Anyway, the point is not to moan, but to share an excellent blog post I read with you all. It was linked from one of my favourite sites, Jezebel and you can read the whole blog here. I don't agree with all of the advice contained within it, but I felt like it had a lot to say to me about caring too much about offending people, worrying too much if people like me and fretting that people are judging me and bitching about me behind my back. Julien Smith says it's time to stop letting that shit take over, and he has a point.

Do you wonder if someone is talking shit about you? Whether your friends will approve? Have you become conflict-avoidant? Spineless? Well, it's time you started not giving a fuck.

That's fighting talk, isn't it? But seriously, worrying whether someone is talking shit about me is how I spent the majority of my time last year. I worry about it now, too. I wish there was a button allowing me to turn that part of my interior monologue down. It creeps up on me, too. I can be pootling along feeling absolutely fine and then BAM! Something happens and I start fretting what it means. Recently the trigger was getting back something I'd lent to a friend. Or rather, not getting back something I'd lent to a friend. All of a sudden lots of reasons seemed to suggest themselves to me for why I couldn't get my stuff back. I might have been wrong (but I probably wasn't) but the point is, I spent some time worrying about it. Not good.

These are people that don't like you anyway, why should you attempt to please people who don't care for you in the first place?

This is basically what I have to remind myself of frequently. On first glance it seems kind of bleak and pessimistic, but it isn't really. In fact, it's a pretty positive message if you think about it - why worry about trying to make people like you, some people won't and that's okay.

Check this out: when people don't like you, nothing actually happens. The world does not end. You don't feel them breathing down your neck. In fact, the more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better off you are... Not giving a fuck is actually a necessary precedent to create a good life for yourself. It can't happen without it.

This is an awesome message if you can digest it. It's not strictly true that when someone doesn't like you, nothing happens. Or at least, it's not always true. When someone doesn't like you, and is talking shit about you something does happen and it's unpleasant, it changes the dynamics between friends and it can sour relationships. That's why people do it. But the second part of that paragraph is really powerful - you can't make a good life for yourself if you're worrying all the time about what people think. Haters gonna hate, and there's nothing you can do about that.

How to get back your self-respect in five easy steps

• Do things that you consider embarrassing
• Accept, or deal with, awkwardness
• Refuse boundaries - walk where you want to walk. Don't accept false choices. Don't let people dictate how you live your life
• Tell the truth
• Begin your new life

I'm especially taken with the third bullet point about refusing boundaries. To me, this is part of the same process as accepting that you don't have to care if people don't like you, because it's about not allowing how others feel about you to limit yourself. Walk where you want to walk, and do the things that you want to do, even if others don't understand, or if they want to be bitches about it. For my part, this is important. I enjoy making things, crafting, sewing, knitting. I recently heard someone deriding this pursuit as ridiculous. It stung a bit, to be truthful, but it doesn't matter. I'm going to walk where I want to walk. Or at least, I'm going to try.

Those who don't give a fuck change the world. The rest do not.

If you dismiss the things that do not matter; if you remove those things from your mind and focus on what must be done; if you understand that your time is limited and decide to work now, only then will you be able to get to the finish line. Otherwise, you will be dissuaded into living a life you aren't interested in.

I'm not interested in living a life dictated by what others think. I'm not interested in going along with things I don't want to do in order to make others happy. I'm not interested in being told how to live my life. I'm not interested in being in negative relationships. I'm not interested in being controlled. I'm not interested in being in a clique. I'm not interested if people are talking shit about me.

Or at least, I'm giving it my best try.

/end rant

Right, after that I think I deserve to go and eat some crisps. Go and read Julien's blog, enjoy your Sundays and normal service will be resumed around here soon.

Am I to entertain your ballad of dissatisfaction, or has something actually happened? Because I am at work, dear.

Afternoon everyone! Well, it feels like it's been forever since I've written a blog, but I suppose that's what being on holiday will do for a girl. I'm back to work tomorrow, and this past fortnight has felt like forever so I can't quite imagine actually being back in the office. Still, there are definitely worse things than the office, and I feel very well rested from my break. Well, emotionally and mentally anyway - my body seems to be disagreeing and I've been feeling somewhat under the weather for the past few days. Maybe I'm subconsciously rejecting the thought of going back to work, eh?

So, when I last wrote Nic and I were still down in Kent. The rest of our week continued to be as lovely as the bit I've already told you about. We settled down our gallavanting and stayed mainly around the village where Nic's parents live (with a day out to another town to visit his grandparents.) We did lots more paddling in the sea, some writing, lots of reading and sleeping and watching films and even a little bit of shopping. The village has a consignment store and when I spotted these babies in the window, my willpower went all out the window and I bought them. Still, they have never been worn and they were cheap, and I loves them. So I don't feel too bad.

Irregular Choice Cortesan heels

Towards the end of our stay the weather had started to cool a bit, but both of us were sorry to be going - I feel so lucky to have access to such a gorgeous bit of the country, and I'm already looking forward to the next time I can do this:

Lounging on Sandgate beach

We decided to travel back up before the royal wedding, thinking that we didn't want to be passing through London on that day. So on Thursday we packed up all our stuff and headed back to Leamington, making a brief stop in London for a visit to both of our favourite haunts. Nic bought a few things in Orbital Comics and obviously I did a bit of payday shopping in Fever and also at Paul and the International Cheese Centre in Marylebone (I always want to call it the International House of Cheese)

Not pictured: Paul camembert sandwich and Tayto crisps and Black Bomber cheese from the International House of Cheese

It was actually really nice in London - we wandered through Trafalgar Square on our way back to Marylebone and everything was getting geared up for the big day. There was a nice vibe - lots of tourists (and probably Londoners, too) waving flags and wearing deely boppers. Lucky old Nic ran into the happy couple, obviously they couldn't get the day before the wedding off from their employers at Patisserie Valerie off Charing Cross Road.

Our only celebrity spot that day...

Now, I'm not knocking anyone who did watch the wedding - whatever floats your boat, right? But it was not for me, and so Nic and I had a very relaxed and non-weddingy Friday at home. Nic and I watched the second part of the excellent Sarah-Jane Doctor Who serial The Sontaran Experiment (having watched the first part before going on holiday)and the last few episodes of the third season of Mad Men before we went out for a walk and to do a bit of grocery shopping. In the evening I got on with that ridiculous pursuit, sewing - another Simplicity 2591 - and Nic did some drawing. It was all very companionable and civilised, and not a scrap of bunting in sight.

Work in Progress - Joel Dewberry fabric and Simplicity 2591

I was up and out of bed at an unearthly hour (for me) on Saturday morning. I wanted to be in London before 10 to hit the Vivien of Holloway sale. It's been a while since I caught the train to London on my own (since our offices in London closed, although I guess that commuting is set to start up again later this year) and I enjoyed speeding through the sunny countryside with a book and a snack (no coffee, sadly!) I got to the Holloway Road just after 10 and was greeted by mayhem in the rather small Vivien of Holloway shop:

apologies for the blurry phone photos... but this hopefully gives you an idea

It was difficult to move and while I'd had an idea to try on one of the pencil dresses to get an idea of fit, after spending over half an hour in the stationary changing room queue I decided to cut my losses and go with what I knew would fit me. I was joined by Sugar Plum and the two of us came away happy (and tired) with two dresses each, and went to reward ourselves with a drink and a good old gossip. She had to leave shortly afterwards and, while I had planned to hit Walthamstow market for some fabric shopping I was starting to feel a bit wobbly so decided to go home. Well, not straight home. I went back to the Charing Cross Road for a look in the bookshops, and then had a wander through one of my favourite bits of London - Soho. It was a gorgeous day, and Soho was full of happy looking people sitting outside cafes. I bought a macaron and an Orangina from Paul on Old Compton Street and had a wee poke around The Cloth House on Berwick Street before catching the tube back to Paddington to come home. I didn't buy anything in the Cloth House, but it is certainly a lovely shop:

Boutons!

Pretty trims

My darling Nic greeted me at the station when I got back to Leamington, and we had an ice cream in the park before wending our way home for a lazy evening with a film. By this stage I was starting to feel really weird, so I changed into my jammies and dozed on the sofa. But I know y'all want to know about the four dresses I managed to buy in the space of three days, so I did take this wee picture

Fever Delilah summer dress, Fever Matoid pencil dress, Vivien of Holloway Purple Rose dress and Anchors Away dress - also some awesome sunglasses I bought in Hennes for £3.

Sunday was almost completely a washout because I felt like shite, but by Monday I was revived enough to be joined by Denise and Lauren for an afternoon of sewing. I finished my Simplicity dress (photos to follow) while Lauren worked on a fabulous-looking fuchsia circle dress and Denise did some alterations. Nic pottered in and out, bringing us food and doing some work, it was a delight. After the ladies had left, Nic made a comment that resulted in us rearranging the furniture in our living room which was a dusty but satisfying job. I do enjoy bank holidays!

I don't go back to work until tomorrow so today decided to treat Nic to lunch at one of our favourite restaurants. Naturally, I couldn't wait to take one of my new dresses for a spin, and decided to roll this up into a shoe challenge, as part of Shoeperwoman's Shoe Challenge:

Vivien of Holloway Anchors Away dress, Bettie Page belt and Irregular Choice No Place Like Home shoes

Isn't this dress amazing?! I've wanted it for ages, and couldn't resist treating myself to it in the sale. This one is different to my other Vivien of Holloway frocks in that it is made with a heavier weight cotton sateen, and it feels so luxurious. I love it! Lots of people stopped me in the street this afternoon to comment on it too, which made me feel a wee bit bashful but very pleased all the same. I resisted the temptation to wear the lovely anchor necklace that Lauren gave me a while ago (I thought it would be overkill) but I did put on some swallow earrings

another one, just for good measure

The fabric

The shoes need no introduction, and I think they add the perfect amount of whimsy to this outfit

Irregular Choice No Place Like Home shoes

Tuesday Shoesday

My darling Nic was the perfect accessory - I don't like to brag or anything, but I did feel very lucky to be on his arm

Nic

And so it's farewell to hollibobs and back to work tomorrow. Still, it's been a fantastic fortnight and very much what I needed. I was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed again . Not by work this time, but other stressful things and lots of rest and fun have definitely helped a lot. I think that I'm a bit better equipped to deal with stressful situations now, and I know when I need to step back and give myself a break from things, and doing that has been really good. And, you know, I have a few new frocks to parade around the office in so maybe going back to the old 9-5 won't be too too painful. Here's hoping not, at any rate.